Addiction Journal

The color palette

paletteAt the start of my journey I spent a lot of time worrying. I’ll admit I still worry today but I learned that my son will eventually show his colors if using. I am working on me, and the whole “LET GO and LET GOD” piece of this equation.

As parents we can drive ourselves crazy wondering about every phone call, where they are, who they are associating with, what will they do when we vacation, how come he has money, how come he doesn’t have money, why is he out so late, why is he home early?

Our minds race like a meteor shower when addiction grips our families.

I have learned from the sound advice of others and the experiences with my son’s addiction/recovery that eventually the true colors of recovery will be exposed.

Whether the colors are blacks and grays or an amazing collage of beauty, the palette is truly out of our hands. As parents we often waste our energy trying to figure them out. Stop figuring and let go. If they are in recovery it will remain peaceful and if they are active there was nothing you could have done to prevent it.

I hope this helps.

Peace and strength

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Categorised as: Journal Entries


8 Comments

  1. Lisa says:

    Unfortunately there is no finish line here.
    Thank you for this timely post. My son arrives home tomorrow for a week. My slogan for his visit is Live and Let Live. Anything else results in frustration and exhaustion.

  2. Wow, just what I needed to hear today. I couldn't sleep last night because of all of the above. I know he belongs to God and not me but the lines get blurred!

  3. notmyboy says:

    I’m not sure I will ever fully embrace my son’s recovery…in the sense that I trust him completely. I think that toothpaste was squeezed from the tube. I know for a fact that I would never find true peace if he were to live in my home again. I love him, but I also value my stuff. He spirals downward too quickly for me to ever keep a solid inventory on my treasures before they are pawned off. So while I kept a vigil on him for his health sake (when he lived at home), I also knew I couldn’t do anything one way or the other about his recovery. I tended to hover and watch him because I worried about what he would do to my family before I could “catch” him. It finally got to be too much, and I was aging way too quickly under the stress. He now lives (sober) an hour away. It is way easier this way.

  4. Pat says:

    Thank you for this post!My son is home for the Holidays and I have caught myself watching everything again. I needed this reminder.

  5. Susan Willis Silva says:

    A resounding AMEN.

  6. Geri Greene says:

    I'd like to hear from parents who have been thru the fires of their child's addiction, and carry no concerns forward once it appears to be under completion. Is there one? Are there more?

    • AddictionJournal says:

      completion? …To me that is an interesting term as I have been taught “journey w/ no destination” . I keep this concept close and try to improve my “parental psychosis” one day at a time. Interesting question Gerri I will be interested to see if others respond.

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