I am angered, as I have not heard from him, yet saw him drive by the local coffee stop . I saw a young man with a fresh haircut and sunglasses. Usually these trimmings when adoring my son’s persona are ego driven. Ego is something my son struggles with when he embraces recovery. True recovery is a humbling experience wrapped in amends and forgiveness. These are not good signs.
remember in the times of m son’s drugged insanity, I would not hear from him for days. I would awaken in the middle of the night, hyperventilating, worried where his addiction had taken him. Was my son dead, was he alive?
As addiction progresses, we cannot help but become wiser as wee read, talk, and attend our support groups. The Al-Anon adage “Hate the addiction, not the addict” is some of the best advice I was ever given. From that wisdom I decided that I would not let my rage destroy the relationship with my son. However, I would no longer allow my son to run rough shod over my family. The anger would be my strength to set boundaries.