I’m sorry & happy for incarceration
Parents of addicts experience emotions that are difficult for the casual observer to comprehend. The experiences and trauma associated with having an addicted child in our families mold our emotional psyches.
Friends over the years have often shared with me when their addict child has ended up *incarcerated.
I often say “Im sorry yet happy”. They smile. They understand that it is sad when our kids face jail time, yet the jail time can contain the gift of peace.
Jail time removes them from the street chaos. I won’t go as far to say that jail time prevents drug use. However incarceration gives the family and the addicted some “down time”. Time to breathe and reflect. Time to plan our next steps.
This time away from addiction is a gift. I’m often happy when my friends are provided this needed gift.
“I’m sorry and happy.” Do you understand?
peace and strength
*if you feel this post will help another family please feel free to link or share this Addiction Journal
* p.s. Rehabilitation far exceeds incarceration, however that is a post for another time.
Categorised as: Journal Entries
Thank you for the kind words. I find a lot of strength by reading the experience of others on this site
My son was finallyi arresred this Friday for possesion of heroin. It breaks my heart. I had just picked him up last Sunday from rehab. He looks so beautiful and healthy and was talking about getting back to school.His job held his position till he got out. Then this last Friday hes was arrested. My stomach just burns and burns imagining what he is going through. When i get into bed i wonder what he is dealing with. Im not going to bail him out’ i will just let everything play out. He is only 20 and part of me says that he is not a criminal but a sick individual. I just love my son and so wish I could help him with this addiction to heroin but realize that i can’t. Hard to be happy when my son is in jail.
Vito ..i am very saddened to read this.
All of me says he is not a criminal..he suffers from the disease of addiction.
for parents it is the realization that we can’t cure our sons and then the constant monitoring of our hearts ( which will often lead us back to enabling ) . We all struggle with this.
I hope this is the “event” that turns him around
Dear Patty, if you need me, just phone me 24/7. I believe HELP IS ON THE WAY!
AGREED!
My Son is in prison, he has 5 more years left of his 13 year sentence…his drug related crimes finally caught up with him and although it was hard, my heart was at peace for the first time in a long time.
So hard! Kids don't realize how hard their choices and mistakes are on their Moms and the rest of their friends and family. Hope he stays safe and the time goes quickly for you all. Thoughts and prayers with you!
Wow that is such a strong heart , would have expected no less from you , and am a big fan! Your friend Jeff
“I’m sorry and happy.” You know I totally understand that one.
When I had my daughter arrested I cried, mostly for the fact that she was now in jail but I cried because I could finally get a good nights sleep! I didn't have to worry about the phone ringing, her breaking in, the police at the door…etc.
I can't tell you how much Jessica and I admire your actions. You are a REAL parent and we need more like you. Correction does not mean you do not care . . . It means you care most of all. If every parent would take such and interest in their child's future we would not see the world as it's becoming today. Contrary to other "Reports" enabling is no different then homicide, the parent is responsible for pulling the trigger to destruction. When I was 14 years old I stole my parents car and went joy riding with my buddies. Little did I know, my mother kept her lifelong promise. "If you can't do the time – don't do the crime" she would say. She called the police and turned me in. It was the best lesson I've ever learned in my life. At 4, I took a nut and bolt from Johnson's Hardware Store, when I got home she asked, "What's in your pocket?" When she found out, she took me back to Mr. Johnson and made me tell him in public what I had done and then she spanked me right in the middle of the store. My mother taught me that she loved me and wanted God's very best for me. Patty, you are a Champion whom your daughter will one day come to emulate. The Scripture says, "Train a child in the way they should go and when they grow old, they will not depart from it." (Proverbs 22:6). Thank you for this post. I intend to re-post it for our national and international readers. God bless you.
Patty God Bless you and your family…..you always give me strength.
Thank you Donna & Marti for the kind words.
The last 2 years have given me a new outlook.
As a parent of an addict I have to say has been the most difficult of times. I am not embarrassed or ashamed …I'm sad. The stigma that surrounds addiction is terrible. Yes my daughter chose to try drugs not because I was a 'bad' parent or not because of abuse,neglect or a tragedy. Just to try. Now she is in the fight of her life. David & I are very fortunate to have non judgemental,loving family & friends and a commitment to ourselves and our children. We totally support Jaclyn and have learned not to be enablers.
I know that people will judge and gossip and I really don't care about any of it. I believe that God has given me patience & strength to make decisions that I never thought I'd have to make. I choose to be open and honest, trying to find how to help Jaclyn, other addicts and other parents who are dealing with this disease.
Keep us in your prayers and give someone a smile or a kind word today because you never know what inner struggles they are dealing with. Your posts made me feel good!!
Have a blessed day!!