Cluttering their ocean with help
Begin to visualize our attempts to help our children as a nautical life preserver. ( Perhaps you can think of what we called “swimmies” in the Northeast when our kids were little.)
We try to help our addict, so we toss a helping life preserver to help them swim.
We help them again and now there are two sets of “swimmies” in their pool of life.
The tossing of help / life preservers goes on over the years. Still our addict is not swimming on their own.
As parents we are paralyzed by our fear that they may drown.
At some point we have tossed thousands of “life preservers/ swimmies” in their ocean. This is a record of our futile attempts to save them.
The goal is to allow them to swim. How can my child swim if I have cluttered up the waterway with thousands of my help preservers. At some point our kids will have to swim alone. Our higher power eventually takes us all from this earth.
I need to clean up the swimmies I have tossed. I have polluted his ocean.
Peace and strength.
If you feel this post will help another family please feel free to link back to this blog.
Categorised as: Coping Skills
Excellent post.
Love this!
Good. Post
Just what I needed to read as I am on my knees begging my HP to help me let him go. My son has been battling his addiction for years now. I finally thought things were different this time. He called me from his program to say he is being kicked out. It doesn’t matter the reason, but I was starting to get to high, and was getting in the way of his recovery. I was always to available. Dropped off smokes and clothes when he wasn’t asking for anything. Lecturing , lecturing, not allowing him to grow. I am so sick! I need help! I am so tired of being his cheerleader!
Thanks for this analogy , Its just what I needed. When will I learn??????
He did have a choice to walk out the door or the treatment program he was in had a holding in the same building which thankfully he went to.
He needs to swim alone this time.
I think we have displaced ALL of the ocean!
I'm there with you. Its hard to see the water, hard to move and I have him trapped!
Awesome!