Touching the stove – learning from experience
“”Experience is the best teacher, but the tuition is high.”” – Norwegian proverb
Even in recovery our children can ride a see-saw of decision making that makes our hair go deeper into a 50 shades of gray (50 shades, not fifty strands)
Thankfully my son is not using his drug of choice today. Yet his decision-making leaves much to be desired. This is only my opinion and I have to realize that my opinion does not factor in his recovery. He is sober and for that I am thankful. He is sober because he chooses to be sober. He will learn about life in recovery.
I have to allow him to make decisions regarding employment etc. and learn to simply shut off the faucet of my incredible wisdom (OK I am being a tad sarcastic). I have learned that if I say “X” and a friend in recovery says “X”, my son will say that I am “bugging him” and the X from his friend is genius. Go figure.
I am working on the concept of “accepting the things I can not change” (Where have I heard that before?) My son is a “thing” I can not change. He must change himself.
Today’s post is not about drug usage, but rather about allowing “them” to live life in recovery. I am slowly discovering, after 6 years on the journey, that recovery is a learning experience for our children also. As a parent, I know I am humbled with the lessons I learn in my recovery each day. I am still enrolled in the Kindergarten of parent recovery but at least I am paying attention.
I guess the part that frustrates me about my son is when I tell him the “stove is hot” yet he has always been the child that must learn by touching. His “learning style” has been a painful thing to watch. However my son has always done better after touching the stove.
For today I am sitting back and letting him go to school. Will he be burnt? Perhaps. Again this is his learning style and he has learned much from far bigger infernos in his past.
Ok I’m done babbling … enjoy. Maybe this post is a bit all over the place..but I’m learning.
Peace and strength!
*if you feel this post will help another family please feel free to link or share.
Categorised as: Coping Skills