Triggers vs. Yoga?
We never, never try to arrange a man’s life so as to shield him from temptation. The slightest disposition on your part to guide his appointments or his affairs so he will not be tempted will be noticed. Make him feel absolutely free to come and go as he likes. This is important.
Big Book Chap 8
I wrote a post about how I struggled with triggers back in 2010. I was and am still learning about the road to recovery and have a long long long journey ahead of me.
I have been granted many gifts thanks to my son’s addiction.I have learned and experienced emotions other parents with non-addict children will never understand.
One of the concepts I have been learned is that in addiction , “life is a trigger.” Most parents with some recovery time will tell others to stop sweating the trigger game. The trigger game is futile exercise where we try to control the elements of their world hoping to prevent a relapse. I eventually learned it was a colossal waste of my energy!
God forbid a purple spotted flamingo with sunglasses flies by on a Wednesday…because that is the event that occurred last time junior relapsed.
Life on life’s terms. I had to put that concept in my parental recovery tool chest!
Save your energy for your gardening, for your power walking, hot yoga, or whatever else you like to do. Stop trying to control the triggers of their addiction. When their obsession is truly lifted…well you can read about that in the book. I am off to my yoga class…
peace and strength
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Categorised as: Journal Entries
What I have learned from nar-anon…the addiction is theirs and so is recovery. Let the addict work their recovery,they know what to do we just need to stay out of the way. I wish my crystal ball was in working order to know what he’s triggers would be but hmm I admit I haven’t a clue. All I can do is continues to work my program and prepare myself should a relapse occur. I won’t be there to to stop him but I am stronger now to say that I will not get back on that roller coaster. He has a choice and guess what so do I. Just for today he is clean, tomorrow I pray he’ll be the same.
I did all I could to control the "triggers" even moved to a different town in 2008. There is an old saying "water seeks it's own level" well swamp water is included in that. Praying that our sons and daughters "water" will become clean and stay clean. And that they will learn to navigate the triggers of life.
Love this advice. It does take awhile to learn to let go and live our lives, but it’s better for everyone when we do. I love gardening and yoga as well as tennis and a few other things that keep me busy and not trying to run my kid’s lives. Our children will all become stronger when we let them take on the challenge. Our lives will become more serene. Thanks for sharing!!
Update May 2012- It is truly hard to believe it has been 5 years since our son since we realized our son had a major problem with prescription drugs. After his relapse I decided I was going to try to figure out addiction and recovery. In doing so I pursued a Master’s degree in Mental Health Counseling.
I learned a great deal about counseling but mostly I learned that addiction and recovery are very complex and individualistic.
Recovery is a process not a one step fix-it solution. Please don’t equate the cost of a program to the quality and success rate. One definition of success is how long a person is fully functioning/remains unimpaired after completing a program.
One of the most upsetting facts was that medical doctors typically have less than 3 hours of addiction education even if they will be prescribing opiate or other addicting medicines. You might consider asking for alternative medications for pain relief rather than beginning with opiates. Ask questions, find a good pharmacist- ask questions, and see what you can find on the internet for alternatives to medication or therapies to reduce pain.
Five years ago today I didn’t recognize my son as he was being discharged from detox. As any parent can imagine this was a sickening feeling and one I will never forget. Proudly, I would like to say on May 5th he and I graduate from college along with another son. They received Bachelor degrees in Business and I received my Master’s degree in Rehab and Mental Health Counseling. Thank you for everyone who has been supporting us through your prayers. Remain hopefully, do your homework, educate yourself and others. The real key to addiction is prevention not rehabilitation. Prayers have been answered. And yes, I still pray everyday.
thank you for both your hope and insight..
peace teresa
you’re doing yoga? good for you! always great advice my friend.
shelley..u know me the only stretch here is the story …
This has been my struggle as of late, being focused on the negative potentials. Thinking this next thing will be the trigger that sets him even further back…
Today… as of 8AM this morning… I am instead choosing to pursue HOPE instead.
Let the roller coaster stop….. finally….
or…at least level the ride. Does it every really stop? Good health ? Active addiction? I’m not so sure…I embraced the “journey with no destination” concept ..
peace my friend
Great post, and comments! Families must recover and live life to it’s fullest..with or without addict’s recovery
That was one of the most basic and agreed upon concepts found across the board..yet it the hardest first steps for new parents to take..I agree w/ you Sandra..!! thanks for commenting and passing on your wisdom!
This is a truism. I have learned that the triggers we attempt to 'remove' are more MY triggers than they are my sons…..
for those read this blog .. Liisa was one of my first sponsors in a parent group that I once attended. I was a newbie and I studied her words. She become one of my first mentors..early early in my recovery she was one of the two parents that lit a fire under my “arse” …. as she comments ( i hope she continues to comment)..read her words as she possesses wisdom
Excellent advice !
Thank you Jon Gergeceff