Distance vs. Detachment
I was commended at a local support group I attended at the time for my ability to DETACH. It felt weird.
A few years removed from that period and a few relapses deeper, I have learned the term “detaching” is thrown around at support groups. Detachment is word thrown around but often times never dissected.
For me a better word is DISTANCE. I learned to love distance!
Both mentally and emotionally I could never completely DETACH. He was in my heart, head and prayers. He is my only son and I love him unconditionally. How does one cut off “UNCONDITIONAL” love? I wouldn’t do it… ( but I wouldn’t enable or love him to death )
Thankfully I discovered DISTANCE. I would love him from a distance. I would carry the hope that he would adjust his sails.
I could distance my self from his insane phone calls. I could distance myself from the stealing, lies and manipulation. I could distance my life from his drug use. We can get off the insane drug addiction merry go round and watch from a distance.
To this father detaching seemed so final. I have been taught there is always hope. I believe there is always hope. For me if I completely detached I would have given up hope. That is not my style!
Thus …distance became a tool in my recovery. I hope this tool is passed on today!
Categorised as: Relationships