Yes! There will be good days!
When we work our own recovery the “good days” happen. Days where the worries of overdoses, addiction chaos, and jail time leave our mind. It can happen. Granted, not everyday will be “Rainbows and Sunshine”, but if we seek to maintain a balance through friends who truly understand, we can get healthier.
We have to learn that “Addiction” truly needs to be handed back to our Addict Child to deal with.
Preventing the consequences (bail, court fees, etc ) does not help them but merely sustains their addiction.
The following poem is often passed around the many support groups found on the Internet. Still one of the best written:
I Am An Addict
I am an addict. I need your help.
Don’t let me provoke your anger. If you attack me verbally or physically, you will only confirm my bad
opinion of myself. I hate myself already.
Don’t let your love and anxiety for me lead you into doing what I ought to be doing for myself. If you assume my responsibilities, you make my failure to assume them permanent. My sense of guilt will be increased and you will feel more resentful.
Don’t accept my promises. I’ll promise anything to get off the hook. But the nature of my illness prevents me from keeping my promises, even though I mean them at the time.
Don’t make empty threats. Once you have made a decision stick to it.
Don’t believe everything I tell you, it may be a lie. Denial of reality is a symptom of my illness. However, I’m likely to lose respect for those who I can fool too easily.
Don’t let me take advantage of you or exploit you in any way. Love can not exist for long without the dimension of justice.
Don’t cover up for me or try in any way to spare me the consequences of my drugging.
Don’t lie for me, pay my bills or meet my obligations. It may avert or reduce the very crisis that would prompt me to seek help. I can continue to deny that I have a drug problem as long as you provide an automatic escape from the consequences of my drugging.
Above all, DO learn all you can about drug addiction and alcoholism and your role in relation to me. Attend support meetings regularly, read the literature and keep in touch with other members. These are the people who can help you see the whole situation clearly…….This is the way to Stay Strong!
We as parents must work to understand and apply the concepts of detachment and codependence. We must learn to escape the “drama” that is bundled with addiction. Begin to study the enemy and learn how it works to sustain itself at the expense of our children.
Good days happen for those who work their recovery.
peace and strength!
*if you feel these words will help a family or parent please feel free to link back or share.