Amends…
I was the beneficiary of Step 9 last night.
One of my son’s coconspirators, now in 12 step recovery, approached me on my evening commute. He was one of the wildest in the “gang ” back when my son was running hard.
He is now 9 months clean and I am very happy for him. I listened to his “amends” quietly, not saying much. I figured I was one of the few recipients who actually knew what he was trying to accomplish on this rainy Boston eve. I let him speak.
He stammered a bit and I stopped him and told him.
“I don’t want to accept this YET. I want you to come back to me in 1 year and do this again. I hope that you continue on your current path. Forget about your 9 months and always remember that TODAY is the only thing that matters.”
I will completely accept your amends and allow you back into my home in one year. It’s his first attempt at recovery and right now he seems a bit “pink cloud “ Perhaps I am being judgmental but I didn’t’ even allow my own flesh and blood back into my home at 9 months.
I followed up later with an email thanking him for his attempt to make amends and told him I would pray for him.
Another kid to pray for… I pray God continues to help this kid lift the disease and he does visit me in 1 year, still clean and sober.
Peace
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You are a very wise individual.
Momma…my son is hitting 2 years soon ( God Willing ) and is on Step 4 too… our boys sound a lot alike..
There is an area in the North East…that is very fast w/ the steps..some kids get it..others dont . They blaze through the steps…It is what each kid / person takes out of it I guess. Not sure since Im not an addict..
I hope the kid hangs on and does the right thing…but again I am very leery of those under a year that bang that BIG BOOK loudly… Pink Clouds need caution..
step 9 and 9 months clean? is that normal? My son is 18 months clean or so, and on step 4. I guess he’s taking his time. But I get the sense it’s not wise to fast track the steps either. Anyway, I have often wondered what that would be like for the addict to come to you with their amends. I’m not sure how I would feel.
Well good for your son’s friend. I’m sure it took a lot of guts to come to you. I hope he succeeds… but, yeah… wait and see. Hope he comes back in a year to “prove” his amends.
nope..I like him..respect him for where he is right now…but hopefully he survives the Pink Cloud stage and keeps this disease in check.
I look forward to seeing him in a year
I like this. I like this a lot.
On my first read thru, I had a knee jerk reaction that went sort of like this, “What a crappy thing to do!”
Then I took pause and reread your post. Paused again, and gave it some thought.
Conclusion?
BRAVO! You have inspired me.