People and parents of addicts are so quick to judge our child’s recovery. Far too often addiction is chalked up to laziness or bad behavior. In my humble opinion, ACHIEVEMENT gap has 0% understanding of addiction.
I love Zoo Mass’s implied advice to “take a look in the mirror”. Anyone who has tried to stop smoking, diet, or sustain an extended period of exercise should think twice.
My son has maintained a period of sobriety. (I tend not to count his clean time as I got sick of the reset button and it really didn’t help either of us.)
I don’t feel families ever get back the child we lost to addiction. When (or if ) they find recovery, families get a modified, enlightened, wiser, ( You can add your own adjective ) person in recovery. They however have changed dramatically!
Our actively addicted kids rob banks, provide sex, and stick needles in their arms. Sorry folks this is a graphic and dirty disease. There are many other psychologically and emotionally based traumas our children experience. Our family member can’ t possibly return to that sweet pajama clad persona that we all miss.
Drug addiction is that hurricane that rips out the trees.. Sure you have a landscape but it is significantly altered. After the fire the grass always seems to grow greener.
Some return from the wasteland of addiction a far better person. Wiser and kinder is often what I have seen.
Don’t mourn for your baby to return. ..wait with hope for the new person they may become. There is always hope…
The preceding article struck something deep within me as a parent. This “mattress camp” could have very easily been my son’s home at some point. Thankfully he is managing his disease and not on the streets.
The homeless numbers grow daily in this country, and in this parent’s opinion, correlates closely with the increase numbers of those addicted to opiates and other drugs. Am I wrong?
Politicians celebrate the dismantling of these mattress camps and I understand why this needs to happen. However the bigger problem remains.
Where do these kids who are told “Home is not an option.” sleep tonight? In the past I asked my son to leave our home (one of the hardest moments of my life). Thankfully he ended up in rehab and didn’t spend much time on the streets as a homeless person. For him, things are pointed in a better direction. But what if…
The scary fact is that some addicts choose the streets over recovery. Each and everyday far too many of our young citizens begin to sleep in the alleys and off-highway woods that make up this great country.
I hope that politicians begin to address the homeless/addiction issue more earnestly, as it is not going away anytime soon. These politicians can create all the feel good “photos ops” they want and can pull all the mattresses they find. The fact is that our kids will still be sleeping in the doorways.
It has become increasingly more difficult to blog here lately. There is not a hell of a lot to write about.
All is quiet in my family’s life. My son is maintaining his recovery and lives in his own apartment. My other children have recently flown the coop too. My wife and I miss all of them but we also love the peace. We love the fact that the dishes are not piled in sink. I could blog all night on that stuff…
To enjoy good health, to bring true happiness to one’s family, to bring peace to all, one must first discipline and control one’s own mind. If a man can control his mind he can find the way to Enlightenment, and all wisdom and virtue will naturally come to him.
My son came by for a visit a few weekends ago. He looked fine and mentioned he had over a year sober. Not bad, since I feared that I would be burying him at some points. There is hope.
It’s a scary world out there and I still see kids that are wasted on my daily commute. There is a strong bond between addiction and public transit. I pray for these kids and hope that someday their parents get to experience the “quiet” that I currently enjoy. I don’t ever take it for granted.
I was talking with a friend whose is experiencing the pain of addiction in her life.
She had read some of Chapter 8 (To Wives) and a few posts here at this Addiction Journal. She was very upset and feeling guilty that she should not be allowed to feel angry. I told her we all feel angry at some point.
Anger is a totally normal emotion for POAs and others affected by addiction. I had written a post a while back about the 5 stages of addiction and ANGER is on the list. There were times that I was very pissed off at the stuff my son had done while active in his disease.
We would be quite unusual if we immediately accepted the things that our kids do to us.
Yahoo! I so happy you totaled my car as you drove it into the city to get drugs.
Yippee! You got my credit card and bank information and I am bankrupt.
Awesome! You have managed to have your face on the front page of the daily news where all my judgmental friends can see the train wreck of a life.
Be angry..it’s ok. The key for my recovery as a parent was not to remain angry. The anger that helped me in the beginning would have ruined my life had I held onto it. At some point we must accept that our kids are sick and struggling. It does not help them to enable, yet remaining anger and living a bitter life will help no-one, especially you! POA’s become excellent jugglers of emotions.